The old time.gov was corny as hell but at least it was nostalgic. The new one does not look good and cannot be appreciated ironically. It's not nostalgic, it's not hipster like the CIA website, it's just ugly.
Madness string 100573
I take crackers and chips and chew them until they're mush, and then store them in my cheek and suck the moisture out. I keep doing this and adding to the mush ball, until it's big, round, and fluffy. Then I take the ball out of my mouth and take bites out of it like it's a small apple.